Talking to women or getting to know women creates a very frightening feeling in almost all men. Think about it, how many friends or acquaintances have, without any response, without shyness and fear of rejection, easily approach a woman and address them confidently? And in every situation and no matter how attractive this lady may look like? Probably next to no one!
That’s a sad truth. Almost nobody can, because the fear of a basket is deep in the psyche of a man anchored and with some trite Anmachsprüchen, unfortunately you do not get too far!
In the following you will find guaranteed tested and field-tested Filttipps how you approach women, how you look self-confident and how to get your shyness finally under control.
8 basic tips for a confident flirt
Most men believe that they need a matching temper to score with the woman. The truth is, they want to hide behind your shyness and insecurities.
We will discuss below with numerous examples how you start a conversation with women concretely and what you can say. But: If you want to get to know a woman, then the approach and your appearance many times more important than any Flirtsprüche! Therefore, now for a total of 9 extremely important tips on how you will learn to flirt better guaranteed:
1. Establish eye contact with the chosen one
- A confident look shows her that you are a real man and you can also clearly read her interest in prolonged eye contact
- Never break your eye contact downwards, this symbolizes insecurity and subservience
- Flirting eye contact is critical, but it does not stare at her creepy, like Count Dracula
2. Look for similarities before the response and consider a second sentence
- Often the conversation gets stuttered after the first oh so great spell, so not only consider the icebreaker, but also what you say afterwards
- You can use the flirt techniques (assumptions, statements, and questions) described below to continue the conversation
- her little tattoo on her arm, for example may as well provide a conversation piece as her eye-catching, creative necklace
3. Do not hesitate! 3-second rule is critical
- as soon as you start thinking about it you will lose (guaranteed!)
- Just count yourself “1 – 2 – 3” in your head, take a deep breath and then walk over, because when counting other brain areas are activated and the anxiety is significantly reduced (actually works – try it!)
- Take a deep breath (point 5) and then walk over immediately
4. Smile is the language that is immediately understood worldwide
- By mirror neurons in the brain of your counterpart, she is also animated to smile back and positive feelings are automatically triggered in her
- especially at first eye contact (see point 1), a friendly smile can be perfectly combined to break the ice
- Also pay attention to a friendly expression, not only when flirting at a distance but also when you go over and talk to the woman
5. There is no perfect start
- Slimy startups are almost always embarrassing for both parties
- a relaxed “Hi, I know it’s a bit unusual, but you just noticed me and I wanted to come across spontaneously and say hi!” rich almost always completely
- numerous examples of how to start a confident flirtation and how to approach your dreamgirl can be found later in this article
6. Nervousness is absolutely ok – you can speak calmly
- Shyness and anxiety are absolutely normal, especially at the beginning
- You can also quite address it, with something like: “I honestly have to admit that I never do that, so I’m a bit nervous … but with you I just had to come over and get to know you!”
- Many women will like exactly this honest and soulful way
- This slight thrill makes the flirt but so exciting
7. Get to the point
- Women love men confidently, know what they want and communicate clearly
- even if you initially ask indirectly about the direction to the bus station, you have to show your clear interest at the latest after 1 – 2 minutes
- At the latest before you break up the conversation, you can signal clear interest by exchanging the contact information, with something like: “Hmm, that was a really nice conversation now. You seem to be interesting to me, but unfortunately I have to continue now, but let’s stay in touch on Instagram / exchange mobile phone numbers. “
8. Result does not matter
- How many men do you know that can appeal to every woman in every situation? Exactly! Almost nobody. Therefore: No matter how your flirtation will end: You are at least a doer who goes over, no matter what the outcome will be
- Attracting women and learning to flirt properly is a learning process and with a little practice, your shyness and anxiety will be reduced
What to do if the woman is slightly startled or very surprised when she answers?
In such a case, proper calibration is especially important! If, for example, she looks at you slightly puzzled after the response, simply reply with a casual smile: “Hey, do not worry, I do not want to rob you and I do not want to sell you anything! I just wanted to come over and say Hi … “.
If, on the other hand, he or she meets you at the beginning of the conversation, and closes it off in a reluctant manner, the whole thing can be easily and humorously absorbed, for example, “Mensch! You are ruining this entire disney fairytale romance, which floats between us in the air! That was probably with us! I wish you a nice day.”. With that you can pull yourself out of the affair very politely.
Also, remember never to approach people from behind, put your hand on your back from behind, or open the conversation from behind. Women in particular can be frightened by this, and that does not make anything attractive.
Important: Use any everyday opportunity to speak to women and practice talking!
All the possibilities described above will never replace hard practice for you, however bullet proof they may be. Because again: The content of the beginning of the conversation is absolutely secondary, much more important is the way you meet the other person!
Therefore Important: Instead of adopting you, you should rather try to improve your social skills, in everyday situations. Here are some ideas in which you can easily expand your Smalltalk:
- 873/5000If there is not really much going on, try talking to the cashier a few more words than usual
- Sellers at stalls (from Sky, Jochen Swiss, newspaper subscriptions, etc.) are also perfect for working on your SocialSkills, as these people must be logically nice to you and generally have a very open and affable way
- Try to talk to the counter staff in the gym, the hotel lobby or the bank staff as well
- In a smaller, privately run mom and pop shop you can always initiate a friendly conversation, for example about the quality of organic products today
- or if you should get some medication, then try to talk to the pharmacist about this (you can expand the whole thing here and entertain you, for example, obvious issues such as vaccinations, etc.)
Additional tip: Strengthen your self-confidence or your appearance through visualization exercises
In addition, it makes sense to take 10 minutes a day and train your favorite conversation starters in the spirit. This is a particularly effective technique if you are currently a bit shy.
Lie down for 5min, relax and then imagine the appropriate situation, as good as possible, pictorial. Go through it in your mind’s eye, as you go over to her, open the conversation and she meets you with a smile and enters the conversation.
This type of exercise not only causes you to gradually lose your anxiety, but the various possibilities sink into your subconscious mind.
This will make you a possible conversation starter, easily come to mind when a similar situation presents itself. Thus, you will not let this possibility slip through your fingers, because you can not think of anything better than some inappropriate excuse.
In addition, you should play through your actually experienced, but not really successful conversations in your mind’s eye again and mentally smooth things that could have run better. This is an approach from neuro-linguistic programming that is particularly helpful in cognitively correcting sub-optimal experiences.
How do I address a woman who is currently employed?
If you would like to address a target person, but this is obviously focused on something else, then you can use exactly this statement and thus open the conversation, eg. B: “Hey I see that you are … in a hurry / eating / reading a magazine … but I just had to come over and get rid of the following: …” at this point you go with an appropriate assumption, question or another conversation starter.
Even if many believe that it is inappropriate to address someone in such cases, because he is currently obviously busy, you can, by describing the current situation, resolve that very tension. In addition, this introduction then takes about 10 seconds longer, which means that you can also score with correspondingly positive body language and tonality.
Bottom line, I’d like to reiterate that the most important component in this entire social game is always your hands-on experience!
Therefore, try to give 5% more effort to approach other people on a daily basis, 5% longer to maintain a conversation and 5% more positivity.
It is certainly not easy, but if you apply your focus, your stamina and the necessary energy, then you will hardly recognize your old self, in a year, guaranteed!
“Experience bills us a terribly high school fee, but it teaches us like no one else.” – Thomas Carlyle
I wish you all the best and much success on your way to your social freedom!
Use your potential!